Listen to me ramble in Japanese: Walla Walla Bing Bang.

Workout Podcast Number One | Saturday, October 18th, 2008

"What are you listening to?" she asked me, as she yanked my cheap, wrap-around headphones off the back of my neck and put her ear to them. She's cute, about 25, and not in the superhuman shape you'd expect from someone in her line of work. Her figure is quite average, actually. She wears 80s headbands and countryside doo-rags, which would come off as depressingly hipster if she wasn't half-Greek. Because of her heritage she can pull it off, and now it just makes her looks hip, sans stir.

I'd never had a personal trainer before. Whether through sheer confidence in my limited knowledge of nutrition and exercise, or uncertainty in the same, I never got around to being ok with the idea of someone intently watching me work out. It's actually kinda creepy.

No Handlebars | Thursday, May 8th, 2008

I can ride my bike with no handlebars, No handlebars, No handlebars

Look at me, look at me
hands in the air like it's good to be ALIVE
and I'm a famous rapper even when the paths're all crookedy
I can show you how to do-si-do, I can show you how to scratch a record
I can take apart the remote control, And I can almost put it back together
I can tie a knot in a cherry stem, I can tell you about Leif Ericson
I know all the words to "De Colores", And I'm proud to be an American
Me and my friend saw a platypus, Me and my friend made a comic book
And guess how long it took I can do anything that I want cuz, look:

I can keep rhythm with no metronome
No metronome
No metronome

I can see your face on the telephone
On the telephone
On the telephone

Look at me, Look at me
Just called to say that it's good to be, ALIVE
In such a small world
All curled up with a book to read
I can make money, open up a thrift store
I can make a living off a magazine, I can design an engine sixty four
Miles to a gallon of gasoline
I can make new antibiotics
I can make computers survive aquatic conditions
I know how to run a business, And I can make you wanna buy a product
Movers shakers and producers, Me and my friends understand the future
I see the strings that control the systems, I can do anything with no assistance

I can lead a nation with a microphone
With a microphone
With a microphone

I can split the atoms of a molecule
Of a molecule
Of a molecule

Look at me, Look at me
Driving and I won't stop
And it feels so good to be
Alive and on top
My reach is global, My tower secure
My cause is noble, My power is pure
I can hand out a million vaccinations, Or let'em all die in exasperation
Have'em all heal from their lacerations, Have'em all killed by assassination
I can make anybody go to prison, Just because I don't like'em and
I can do anything with no permission, I have it all under my command

I can guide a missile by satellite
By satellite
By satellite

and I can hit a target through a telescope
Through a telescope
Through a telescope

and I can end the planet in a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars

Flobots - Handlebars

Podcast - Professional Melancholy | Monday, February 25th, 2008

Just because it's still that time of year.

If I had eyes in the back of my head, I would have told you that you looked good as I walked away.

Jack Johnson - If I Had Eyes

Blank stares at blank pages. No easy way to say this. You mean well, but you make this hard on me.

Sara Bareilles - Love Song

Podcast: Guitar Hero II mix I | Tuesday, October 30th, 2007

Now that Guitar Hero III is out - and my friend got it even before it was officially released, somehow - we've been playing that (and the obligatory Halo 3).

Guitar Hero II was the first one that I played and bought. For those who don't know it, it's a musical rhythm game that has you "playing" a toy guitar to match the music / frets going by on the screen. It's an awesome party game, and the soundtrack and art are great.

It also introduced me to / reminded me of some bands and genres that I hadn't listened to in a while. Classic American and British Rock and Metal are up there as some of my favorite kinds of music to listen to these days. In this mixtape, you'll find:

- Motorhead: Ace of Spades
- Danzig: Mother
- Kiss: Strutter
Lynyrd Skynyrd: Free Bird

Portal - Best End Credit Song Ever | Saturday, October 20th, 2007

/*Spoiler Disclaimer

If you are planning to buy / play portal on either the PC or the Xbox 360, then don't play the audio file or follow the link to the lyrics.

Spoiler Disclaimer*/

Valve's latest offering in The Orange Box has been hailed as one of the most innovative ever. But perhaps the most innovative thing about it is Portal, a devious - and devilishly hilarious - mind-twister puzzle / 3D platform game that is probably the first game I'd recommend to my non-gamer friends. The premise is simple, the graphics are attractive, the game is [somewhat...] non-violent, and it poses some fascinating questions. Any game that tests your understanding of physics, geometry, momentum and puzzle-solving while being taunted by a deranged AI entity is a winner in my book.

From Wikipedia:

The game consists primarily of a series of puzzles which must be solved by teleporting the player's character and other simple objects using the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. The goal of each puzzle is to reach an exit point. The "portal gun" and the unusual physics it creates are the emphasis of this game.

The song attached to this post is the credit song that plays at the end of the game, and like the rest of the game, the tone is completely deadpan. The song's so much funnier when you understand the references in it after playing the game, but even without them, it's a riot. Lyrics are here.

Whether you're into PC games or not, I wholeheartedly recommend picking up a copy of The Orange Box even if it's just for Portal and not the other 4 games that are included in the package. The puzzles are thorny, the gameplay is addictive, and the comedy alone is worth the price of admission.

We do what me must
because we can.

I'd like to end by saying that I will never forgive myself for what they made me do to you, weighted companion cube. :(

Maman - Pierre Lapointe | Sunday, May 13th, 2007

Mom please tell me why
The birds at the bottom of my heart
Are crying every minute
Even if you're there to console them.
Mom please tell me why
Everything moving around me
Just makes me want to cry
Like the day I came out of you.

If this is what it's like to be 20
I'd prefer to be a child.
If this is what it's like to be 20
I'd prefer to die now.

Mom please tell me why
I feel old on the inside
Even if the minutes and the hours
Are too young to tire me out.
Mom please tell me why
Happiness in my hands
Like porcelain breaks.
Is it because I'm too clumsy
Or is it life that doesn't love me anymore?